what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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