My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
