my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
