it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You can't special order awesome
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
