so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
