Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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