A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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