Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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