can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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