So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
