I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm always down for nudity.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
