I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
