Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
