So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
organizing the empties. That sober.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
