is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
