M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Terrible idea I love it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
