If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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