please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
