I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
