take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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