If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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