is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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