The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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