did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
