it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
