and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
