sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
