yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Congratulations! We have a period
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
