For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
