I CAN MOONWALK!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
