So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You pole danced in your parka.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
