He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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