Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize