I understand Curling. That high.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
