guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
