Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have demons in me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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