that's an acceptable place to lick
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
