Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
