I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
