just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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