You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
