he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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