Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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