All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My vagina is officially offended.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
