Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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