I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
