Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
