Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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