Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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