i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
