the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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