Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize