Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
