All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
