I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
