and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
