Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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