So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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