As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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